my sweet sister, Becky

Becky passed away last Friday with all of her family around her. It was actually just the kind of gathering Becky would have orchestrated because she was always trying to figure out ways for all of us to get together. She hated when one sibling would be missing from plans and on Friday, everyone was there. It was also just the way we had hoped it would happen. Besides the horrible, horrible headache that she had the day before (which was from the tumors increased growth), she passed away having felt a relatively small amount of pain. The doctors had discussed different ways she might pass away a few weeks ago and there were so many worse ways it could have happened. We had all been praying for her to go quietly with minimal pain and Heavenly Father answered our prayers.

Another thing we noticed? Becky's two youngest have always had perma-runny noses. We had remarked on the miracle that those runny noses disappeared while Becky was going through chemo, which was great because of her weakened immune system. Well, the runny noses are back.

Heavenly Father really does love us and has given us so many things over the past eight months to ease the path. He knows we have to experience these trials, but he still finds ways to show us that he is in control and that he does want us to be happy. Yesterday the girls and I were talking (they are so great at telling us exactly how they are feeling) and Madelynn told me that she was sure it was hard to lose a sister. I told her that it is for I have lost a best friend. I will miss her everytime I want to call her or want to get together with her. BUT I told her that it is nothing compared to losing a mother. Last night, as Becky's niece left holding her little boy, my mom cried for the mother's touch that Connor will not have. The other day, a Connor that is normally very wiggly and active cuddled me for a good 30 minutes (and no, he wasn't tired.) He kept looking me in the eyes and I knew he missed his mom just as much as the rest of the family.