blogging out some grief

I am supposed to be heading to bed, but a quick stop by my sil's blog has the tears rolling. Since I've been avoiding blogging because I haven't wanted any MORE chances to cry, I thought I might at as well seize the moment. I have a friend that talked about how grief is good at blindsiding you and, to that, I say "Amen, sista." You never know when it is going to hit you or how hard it is going to hit.

The last 8 months have been full of experiences that showed me just how hard our Heavenly Father was trying to make a very horrible experience as easy as possible. When I sit down and think of all of the little things that made such an enormous impact on all of us, I am beyond grateful. How could I be anything but grateful when it has been made so blatantly obvious that my Heavenly Father is so very aware of each and every one of us?

Every time I am in a crying mood, I figure I'll journal one of these moments. I know I have already posted about how appreciative I was for Heavenly Father's preparation for this "tornado". (or more like a category 5 hurricane) I realize that Heavenly Father can't really send you advanced notices regarding upcoming trials in your life, but I think he did just about as much as he could for me. About a month before we found out that Becky's problems went beyond a benign lump in her breast, my family made the trek to General Conference. As I was sitting in the Saturday morning session, Julie Beck's talk spoke to my soul. I could not escape the message that I received, which was a message to simplify. I knew that I needed to stop my photography adventures and focus on my family. I needed to hear the message that a mother doesn't need to do something just because she can.

I came back from conference and put the kibosh on my photography. I pretty much stopped crafting and many other things that were insignificant yet were sucking up a lot of my time. I simplified in a major way. Little did I know that I was being prepared for Becky's phone call (on Chris' birthday, overlooking the Cape Meares light house) telling me that her tumor was malignant. Having just emptied my life of many things that lacked any eternal importance, my schedule was free for quick trips to Washington to spend time with my sweet sister. I did not have anything going on because Heavenly Father had already helped me with that. I count each of those trips to see her as treasures and sacred moments that allowed us to talk about the paths ahead. I always felt like I was on holy ground when I was with her over the summer. There was a special spirit that was with her throughout this and I kind of feel honored just to have been able to spend time with such a choice soul in the midst of this monumental trial.

Becky

Rebecca L. (Tunnell) Veatch
Rebecca L. (Tunnell) Veatch passed away surrounded by friends and family on Friday, October 8, 2010. Becky was the beloved mother of four children and loving wife of Michael Veatch. She left this life after a courageous eight month battle with sarcoma cancer. Despite the difficulty of her struggle, Becky maintained a positive, upbeat attitude and laughed all the way to the end.
Becky was born on January 7, 1980 in Fairbanks, Alaska. She graduated from Snohomish High School in 1998. Her high school nick-name, "Amazon Woman", exemplified her talent for tackling every obstacle that stood in her way. After high school, Becky attended massage therapy school in Orem, Utah and graduated at the head of her class. It was there that she met Michael and married him in the Mt. Timpanogas LDS Temple a mere four months later.
After helping support her husband through college, Becky was a stay at home mom by choice. She loved her children with all of her heart and loved to see them laugh and play. Becky always had a ready smile and faced trials and difficulties with optimism and good humor. Her hobbies included scrapbooking, sewing for her children, doing fun things as a family and just having a good time with those that she loved. Becky was always thinking of ways to make people feel special. She enjoyed shopping the sales at Target and rarely paid full price for anything. She was never late paying a bill and her frugality was legendary. Her goal was for her family to live within their means so she could be a stay at home mom in order to spend time with their children.
Becky was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She relied on the Lord throughout her struggle with cancer and gained strength from the many prayers in her behalf. Over the past eight months, she saw the hand of her Heavenly Father as he blessed her family in many ways. She fought the battle courageously and often wowed her doctors with her positive attitude and will-power.
She will be missed by her husband, Michael; and her four children, Madelynn, Abigail, Natalie and Conner. She is also survived by her parents, James and Linda Tunnell; and her siblings, Annalia Romero, Sarah Kang, Rachel Tunnell and James Tunnell.
Her older brother, Jonathan, set an example of courage and faith in fighting his own battle with cancer seventeen years ago. She was the proud aunt of 34 nieces and nephews. She took great delight in instigating tickle fights with them, which she always won.
Funeral services will be held at 12:30 p.m., Saturday, October 16, at the LDS Chapel in Lake Stevens at 10120 Chapel Hill Rd. The viewing begins at 11:00 a.m. Friends and family members are encouraged to bring memories and stories about Becky on 4 x 6 cards.

Bald for Becky Auction

And our fun little auction (that is actually not so little anymore) is off and running. Stop by for a visit and shop guilt free as every bit of this money goes straight to Becky's family. And be warned: it is all cute. And wonderful.

bald for becky

This fundraiser is just part of the fundraising that we are doing for Becky's family. We are also looking for donations for an online auction to benefit them. If you have or know of anyone that has any offerings that they might be willing to donate for this, please let us know. We need all of the help we can get and know that there are so many talented people out there that are generous and ready to help.

Update: numero tres

Becky Update: numero tres

Today Becky had *the* oncology appointment that we have all been waiting on pins and needles for. This is the one that discussed a more solid treatment plan and the pet scan results....and (can I have a ominous drum roll, please? kind of a dum, dum, dum, DUM?) The cancer has spread to the lungs which means a surgery to remove the tumor from the lungs (that includes 3-5 days in the spa. You know...the spa that has their needle "therapists" wake you up during all hours of the night making sure you can't recover a bit because they won't let you sleep?) and a very not so lovely 4-6 month supply of chemotherapy. Yep. Not exactly what we were hoping for, but a treatment plan nonetheless. And we will all unite, being powered by the love of our Heavenly Father, and press on. We will carry Becky along and make this road as smooth as we can, whenever we can. We love you, Becky.

So after having a good cry (I don't know if my kids knew quite what to do with a mother sobbing in the laundry room while folding clothes and singing comforting hymns....I got some intrigued looks as they passed through the hallway!) I got online and did my research. And registered for the Race for the Cure. Anyone want to join us? Team Becky is going to rock it in Seattle on June 6th and we'd love to have anyone join us. Bring a pink bandana and we'll have a Becky love fest for a leisurely 3.2 mile jaunt.

Dear Breast Cancer: Bite me.

Dear Breast Cancer,

Bite Me. Your little cousin, lymphoma, sucked enough. You are not welcome in these parts.

It turns out to be good timing for some simplifying as last week my little sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. We are all sitting around in the "calm before the storm", waiting for a biopsy to determine if it will require "just" a mastectomy or a mastectomy and chemo/radiation. When thinking of the fact that she 4 small children, ranging in age from 5 months to 8 years old, this is huge. Breast cancer sucks royally at any point in your life, but when I picture a young mom trying to juggle a baby and a toddler and throwing in the lovely side effects of chemo, I am just plain old sad. Please include Becky in your prayers....

and I will leave you with my favorite quote of the week:

If you will put God first in your life,

everything else will fall into its proper place

or drop out of your life entirely.

{Ezra Taft Benson}