off to China we go....

Thursday is the big day. Agh! I can't believe it is here. I finally talked to Lilly about us going to help at the Starfish House and...I am not quite sure what I was thinking leaving my babies behind! Until Becky had cancer, I hadn't been away from my girlies for more than 24 hours. Crazy, I tell you!

BUT we have filled up 4 big ole' suitcases of goodies for those stinking adorable babies and we can't wait to love on them. We ended up with 98 sheets, 77 pillow cases, lots of pj's, onesies (Rachel appliqued 50 of them!) and lots of other baby goods. We've had help from a lot of friends, sewing like crazy to brighten the nursery.

I've had a few people that have been a little bewildered with our field trip to China and why we would go so I thought I would try to explain my most recent parenting experiment. (because so much of it really is an experiment, right?) I have been watching Rachel become a teenager with a little bit of dread in consideration of my teenage years and some of the grief I caused my parents. My memories of my teenage experiences include a lot of selfishness and a whole lot of me, me and me. My parents try to tell me that I wasn't "that" bad, but I remember differently.

So my recent hypothesis was that if my kids could see just how differently some people live, just how much some people really suffer...and if they could learn to love them and think about them more than about me, myself and I...they could maybe avoid some of that perma-selfishness. So that was driving point number one and number two was just that I would like to spend some major one on one time with each of the girls when they are 13.

We have spent the last three and a half months sewing like crazy for the Starfish House. I have watched Rachel change from being concerned about the touristy things we will do to only thinking about those babies. She checks their blog regularly, she can recognize most of them by name and knows their circumstance AND she has spent days and days up in her room sewing on her own. She packed her clothes today and told me she only packed clothes that were baby friendly. I had to remind her that we will be doing a week in Korea where I would like a few nice shirts to make an appearance. The best moment was when she decided (without ANY hinting or pushing) to pay for a surgery. When she found out that she could afford to pay for the whole shebang and that she could pay for Elise's surgery (our 4 year old is Elise, too.), she was jumping up and down with the excitement that might be saved for a new ipod at this age. In fact, she could have bought an ipod touch but she chose to help a baby that lives across the world that she has never met. As you can guess, Elise is pretty excited about helping Elise, too. She wants me to bring her just about all of her special belongings for Elise and she has been working like crazy to fill up her jar, too. She's up to $6 and some odd cents. I love seeing how excited Rachel is to help and serve. Autumn has already started planning her trip to India.

crib sheets for the starfish babies

We've been busy like crazy over here, sewing away. In fact, it has been enough now that every time Lilly sees us sewing, she asks if we are making it for the starfish babies. Why yes we are, Lilly! On of their big needs right now are crib sheets. Between their non-standard sized cribs and the low quality of Chinese fabric/elastic, they really need us to make these for them. They have 50 cribs and right now we have 49 sheets cut out. (35 in the final stages of sewing) I would love to be able to bring over enough for them to actually be able to do laundry here and there, which is why I am putting out this plea for help. Any of you lovely folk out there that want to be part of this worthwhile and downright easy project, let me know! And for those of you that have already asked for instructions, here they are:

There are 3 sizes of cribs, so the amount of fabric will vary from 1 1/2 to 2 yards of fabric per sheet. PLEASE prewash your fabric as we don't want these shrinking once they go through the wash.

Supplies:

1/4" elastic (93", 100", 110")

fabric: flannel or cotton (to simplify their massive nursery, we're asking for solid blue, red, yellow and lime green. if you want a pattern, stick to the ones at Joann's with white dots on them)

*for the fabric, you will need a piece 54, 61 or 65 inches long. This is the size you want it to be after washing, so I always add a few inches when I am getting it cut. I know that 3.25 yds will make me a small and medium sheet. 5.10 yds will make you one of each size.

•And here comes the hard part. (just kidding...it is super easy.) You cut your fabric to the right length (54, 61, 65) and width (37, 37, 41) to make a big rectangle. Then you cut a 6" square template and fold your rectangle in quarters. (half, then half again) Make sure all of the corners and sides match up before pinning your template on the outside corner and cutting out the corner.

•Now you go to a corner and take both 6" cut edges and serge them together, right sides together. (if you don't have a serger, reinforce with a zigzag stitch.) You're almost done now. :)

•Move on over to the ironing board and you will iron your casing. You start by ironing down 1/4 in hem all around the sheet. Then you fold it over again (1/2 inch this time), ironing it down as you go.

• sew down your casing (I move my needle to the far left for this so I can sew pretty close to the inside edge) and sew all the way around, leaving a 2-3 inch gap for the elastic.

•clip a safety pin on the elastic and put it through the casing, sewing both ends together when you are done.

• sew the casing shut

•fold it. (this is the hardest part, by far. Really, just throw it in an envelope. We're going to make my rather particular husband fold them all.)

thank you, thank you, thank you for helping the starfish house out. I just love what is being done over there. Have you read Silent Tears? Good read. And if you really aren't feeling the sewing thing, we would love to bring over any other goodies you want to share with all of those sweet little babies. We are saving 3 suitcases for them and trying to make it 4.

what we've been up to over here....

Yes, I am back. At least for tonight, right? So we've been up to the same ole, same ole at the Kang house. You know: homeschooling, sleeping, cleaning up lots of poop (no, I am not a fan of being forced to potty train.)...the norm.

But Rachel and I have been planning a little something that is kind of taking over. We've decided to go on a little (just kidding...it is VERY big.) adventure this spring and are busy planning away. This started out as a trip to somewhere in this big planet of ours to do some humanitarian service, but it has evolved into a trip to China to help in this wonderful orphanage for 8 days, a quick jaunt over to the Great Wall/the Forbidden City and then a week in Korea. (Because, apparently, we aren't allowed to get that close to Korea without visiting my husband's motherland, as he likes to call it.) We're pretty excited, in an extreme understatement sort of way. We have the plane tickets bought, the hanok reserved in Korea, and some cute luggage purchased. Beyond that, we kind of have a lot more to do.

So...a little about the Starfish House. What an incredible place! St. Amanda, as I like to call her, receives babies from orphanages that need extra medical care. A lot of the time, these babies are malnourished and need her to get them back to normal. After this, she arranged surgeries and what not to get these babies ready for adoption. Many of them have cleft lip or cleft palate, others have heart problems...one who was recently adopted had a birth mark on her face. She started with 5 babies, but currently has 45. I, for one, can't wait to go over there and love those littles to death. I've been trying to convince Chris to let me keep one (Please, mommy, can I keep one?) but he isn't convinced yet.

blogging out some grief

I am supposed to be heading to bed, but a quick stop by my sil's blog has the tears rolling. Since I've been avoiding blogging because I haven't wanted any MORE chances to cry, I thought I might at as well seize the moment. I have a friend that talked about how grief is good at blindsiding you and, to that, I say "Amen, sista." You never know when it is going to hit you or how hard it is going to hit.

The last 8 months have been full of experiences that showed me just how hard our Heavenly Father was trying to make a very horrible experience as easy as possible. When I sit down and think of all of the little things that made such an enormous impact on all of us, I am beyond grateful. How could I be anything but grateful when it has been made so blatantly obvious that my Heavenly Father is so very aware of each and every one of us?

Every time I am in a crying mood, I figure I'll journal one of these moments. I know I have already posted about how appreciative I was for Heavenly Father's preparation for this "tornado". (or more like a category 5 hurricane) I realize that Heavenly Father can't really send you advanced notices regarding upcoming trials in your life, but I think he did just about as much as he could for me. About a month before we found out that Becky's problems went beyond a benign lump in her breast, my family made the trek to General Conference. As I was sitting in the Saturday morning session, Julie Beck's talk spoke to my soul. I could not escape the message that I received, which was a message to simplify. I knew that I needed to stop my photography adventures and focus on my family. I needed to hear the message that a mother doesn't need to do something just because she can.

I came back from conference and put the kibosh on my photography. I pretty much stopped crafting and many other things that were insignificant yet were sucking up a lot of my time. I simplified in a major way. Little did I know that I was being prepared for Becky's phone call (on Chris' birthday, overlooking the Cape Meares light house) telling me that her tumor was malignant. Having just emptied my life of many things that lacked any eternal importance, my schedule was free for quick trips to Washington to spend time with my sweet sister. I did not have anything going on because Heavenly Father had already helped me with that. I count each of those trips to see her as treasures and sacred moments that allowed us to talk about the paths ahead. I always felt like I was on holy ground when I was with her over the summer. There was a special spirit that was with her throughout this and I kind of feel honored just to have been able to spend time with such a choice soul in the midst of this monumental trial.

Becky

Rebecca L. (Tunnell) Veatch
Rebecca L. (Tunnell) Veatch passed away surrounded by friends and family on Friday, October 8, 2010. Becky was the beloved mother of four children and loving wife of Michael Veatch. She left this life after a courageous eight month battle with sarcoma cancer. Despite the difficulty of her struggle, Becky maintained a positive, upbeat attitude and laughed all the way to the end.
Becky was born on January 7, 1980 in Fairbanks, Alaska. She graduated from Snohomish High School in 1998. Her high school nick-name, "Amazon Woman", exemplified her talent for tackling every obstacle that stood in her way. After high school, Becky attended massage therapy school in Orem, Utah and graduated at the head of her class. It was there that she met Michael and married him in the Mt. Timpanogas LDS Temple a mere four months later.
After helping support her husband through college, Becky was a stay at home mom by choice. She loved her children with all of her heart and loved to see them laugh and play. Becky always had a ready smile and faced trials and difficulties with optimism and good humor. Her hobbies included scrapbooking, sewing for her children, doing fun things as a family and just having a good time with those that she loved. Becky was always thinking of ways to make people feel special. She enjoyed shopping the sales at Target and rarely paid full price for anything. She was never late paying a bill and her frugality was legendary. Her goal was for her family to live within their means so she could be a stay at home mom in order to spend time with their children.
Becky was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She relied on the Lord throughout her struggle with cancer and gained strength from the many prayers in her behalf. Over the past eight months, she saw the hand of her Heavenly Father as he blessed her family in many ways. She fought the battle courageously and often wowed her doctors with her positive attitude and will-power.
She will be missed by her husband, Michael; and her four children, Madelynn, Abigail, Natalie and Conner. She is also survived by her parents, James and Linda Tunnell; and her siblings, Annalia Romero, Sarah Kang, Rachel Tunnell and James Tunnell.
Her older brother, Jonathan, set an example of courage and faith in fighting his own battle with cancer seventeen years ago. She was the proud aunt of 34 nieces and nephews. She took great delight in instigating tickle fights with them, which she always won.
Funeral services will be held at 12:30 p.m., Saturday, October 16, at the LDS Chapel in Lake Stevens at 10120 Chapel Hill Rd. The viewing begins at 11:00 a.m. Friends and family members are encouraged to bring memories and stories about Becky on 4 x 6 cards.

Rebecca L. (Tunnell) VeatchRebecca L. (Tunnell) Veatch passed away surrounded by friends and family on Friday, October 8, 2010. Becky was the beloved mother of four children and loving wife of Michael Veatch. She left this life after a courageous eight month battle with sarcoma cancer. Despite the difficulty of her struggle, Becky maintained a positive, upbeat attitude and laughed all the way to the end.
Becky was born on January 7, 1980 in Fairbanks, Alaska. She graduated from Snohomish High School in 1998. Her high school nick-name, "Amazon Woman", exemplified her talent for tackling every obstacle that stood in her way. After high school, Becky attended massage therapy school in Orem, Utah and graduated at the head of her class. It was there that she met Michael and married him in the Mt. Timpanogas LDS Temple a mere four months later.
After helping support her husband through college, Becky was a stay at home mom by choice. She loved her children with all of her heart and loved to see them laugh and play. Becky always had a ready smile and faced trials and difficulties with optimism and good humor. Her hobbies included scrapbooking, sewing for her children, doing fun things as a family and just having a good time with those that she loved. Becky was always thinking of ways to make people feel special. She enjoyed shopping the sales at Target and rarely paid full price for anything. She was never late paying a bill and her frugality was legendary. Her goal was for her family to live within their means so she could be a stay at home mom in order to spend time with their children.
Becky was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She relied on the Lord throughout her struggle with cancer and gained strength from the many prayers in her behalf. Over the past eight months, she saw the hand of her Heavenly Father as he blessed her family in many ways. She fought the battle courageously and often wowed her doctors with her positive attitude and will-power.
She will be missed by her husband, Michael; and her four children, Madelynn, Abigail, Natalie and Conner. She is also survived by her parents, James and Linda Tunnell; and her siblings, Annalia Romero, Sarah Kang, Rachel Tunnell and James Tunnell.
Her older brother, Jonathan, set an example of courage and faith in fighting his own battle with cancer seventeen years ago. She was the proud aunt of 34 nieces and nephews. She took great delight in instigating tickle fights with them, which she always won.
Funeral services will be held at 12:30 p.m., Saturday, October 16, at the LDS Chapel in Lake Stevens at 10120 Chapel Hill Rd. The viewing begins at 11:00 a.m. Friends and family members are encouraged to bring memories and stories about Becky on 4 x 6 cards.

my sweet sister, Becky

Becky passed away last Friday with all of her family around her. It was actually just the kind of gathering Becky would have orchestrated because she was always trying to figure out ways for all of us to get together. She hated when one sibling would be missing from plans and on Friday, everyone was there. It was also just the way we had hoped it would happen. Besides the horrible, horrible headache that she had the day before (which was from the tumors increased growth), she passed away having felt a relatively small amount of pain. The doctors had discussed different ways she might pass away a few weeks ago and there were so many worse ways it could have happened. We had all been praying for her to go quietly with minimal pain and Heavenly Father answered our prayers.

Another thing we noticed? Becky's two youngest have always had perma-runny noses. We had remarked on the miracle that those runny noses disappeared while Becky was going through chemo, which was great because of her weakened immune system. Well, the runny noses are back.

Heavenly Father really does love us and has given us so many things over the past eight months to ease the path. He knows we have to experience these trials, but he still finds ways to show us that he is in control and that he does want us to be happy. Yesterday the girls and I were talking (they are so great at telling us exactly how they are feeling) and Madelynn told me that she was sure it was hard to lose a sister. I told her that it is for I have lost a best friend. I will miss her everytime I want to call her or want to get together with her. BUT I told her that it is nothing compared to losing a mother. Last night, as Becky's niece left holding her little boy, my mom cried for the mother's touch that Connor will not have. The other day, a Connor that is normally very wiggly and active cuddled me for a good 30 minutes (and no, he wasn't tired.) He kept looking me in the eyes and I knew he missed his mom just as much as the rest of the family.