Shame on me!

Shame on me!  With Chris feeling a little down over the past couple of days, I forgot to mention the good news!  Chris is now getting a little bit of movement from his thumb and his index finger.  Up until now, it has just been his middle finger that would move.  It takes a lot of work, but before he was doing all of the work and getting no result.  Yeah!  As his OT said, it is easier to build on a little movement than to start from scratch.  

Today was a better day for Chris.  I think it is because he got to eat sushi for lunch. :)  He has been wanting some sushi for quite a while and with his diet being very restricted, sushi is a great treat.  We also got Chris a little acupuncture and he met his new OT. (Occupational Therapist)  When the therapist said "Oh...you are doing great!  We will get you back to normal in no time!", Chris remarked that he liked him a lot more than his neurologist.  I feel like attitude is such a major part of recovering from a stroke.  The big factors that I read about on the web (Because, as Chris likes to say, everything you read on the internet is true) was attitude and depression.  I can see this already.  If you let your attitude get negative, the depression starts to seep in.  Then you don't feel like working so hard on rehab.  Visious cycle, I tell you.  Not at the Kang house.  These silly  girls aren't going to let it get sad for a moment around here.  Kids definitely make the ride more fun.  

Speaking of kids, Hannah is turning 5 on Friday.  For those of you who don't know Hannah, she is our spunky one.  She is our first one to kiss a boy.  Agh.  I already have gray hairs from that one.  The big thing about Hannah that she tells everyone right after introducing herself is that she LOVES horses.  In fact, we were watching Opportunity Knocks tonight when she said "If we were on here, they would ask me what you put on a horse before you ride it.  I would say 'A blanket and saddle.  Duh!'"  Yes.  She is only 4 and talks like a 10 year old.  Luckily for me, we had all of her presents bought before this whole stroke thing came.  She asks me what I got her everyday and everyday I say the same thing.  "Nothing to do with horses because I know that you HATE horses!"  (Which, in fact, is a complete lie.  Everything we got her has to do with horses. )  So here is where you guys come in.  I was going to do horse cupcakes, but I can't find white circus peanuts for the head.  Any suggestions for a horse type cake/dessert that I can "Wow!" Hannah with?  (Maybe a cool enough treat with make her forget about that dinner that I promised her that is now history?  Buy off the 4/5 year old.  That's my plan!)  All I have right now is sticking horses in cupcakes.  (Which I did last year.)  Any creative ideas?  Easy creative?

When life gives you lemons....

sometimes you need a few moments to complain about their sourness.    Right? 

It was one of those days for Chris.  Poor guy.  I think it was a combination of things.  The first real day without any physical therapy for Chris, combined with the transition to home.  A good neurologist appointment, but with the neurologist still telling Chris that he will never be 100%.  Being hungry, but not getting those foods you are so used to.  Lots of things to remind you of those new limitations that you have.  Stressing about finances.  Being tired just from sitting in piano lessons.   I am hoping tomorrow goes a lot better.   School starts at Kang Academy and we have a new teacher on staff.  I think that will help a little.  Maybe?  

Hannah is sick now.  Chloe is better.  Any bets on who it will be tomorrow?  Still throwing airborne at everyone.  I had to give the girls baths tonight, but Chris was feeling a little down.  I really didn't want to leave him to his own devices so I asked Rachel to play skipbo with him to keep his mind  busy.  From upstairs, I hear Chris hysterically laughing.   Hysterically.  Turns out that Chris is a lot more susceptible to tickling now.  He reminds me of my little Rachel.  Once you get her laughing, you can wiggle your fingers at her and she will roll on the floor in laughter.  It was out of control crazy.  I tried to get everyone to drink their airborne, but Chris and Rachel couldn't stop laughing long enough to drink.  I was a little like Mary Poppins, trying to get those silly people off of the ceiling.  It was the happiest Chris was all day so I am not complaining.  I'll wipe up airborne you spew across the room in laughter if that is what makes you happy.  (No, not for any of you out in the blog world.  Just for my beloved family.  Anything to make them happy.)

Sorry!

Most of the day yesterday was spent with Chris playing "Sorry!" with the girls.  They have finally decided that they can beat him without being mean to their beloved patient.   Chris also has been arm wrestling with his right arm to work up some more upper arm strength.  The upper arm is where his strength is right now, but it is still bad enough that my mom can beat him. :)  I am sure he will be back to beating all of us before long.   He can make a better fist now!  Soon he will be able to release the fist also.   Keep up the hard work, Chris!

Around noon yesterday, Chloe started crying and told me that her brain hurt.  I went to pick her up and she was burning up.  The rest of the day was a lot of holding my cuddle bug ( a nickname she got when she was 1.  She could still have you cuddle her all day long!) while she threw up, putting a wash cloth on her head and giving the rest of the family lots and lots of airborne, in hopes of stopping the germs at Chloe.  Chloe just woke up.  More details later.  

home, sweet home

Well, Chris is home at last.  It is nice to have him home again, but I think Elise (2 years old) has been the most excited.   I was telling Chris that the saddest part today was how happy she was when she saw him.  Let me expound on that. :)  To me, how excited she was when she saw him showed just how sad she has been for the last 3 weeks without him.  It makes me sad that she was without words to express this and that she has truly been suffering without her parents.  She has followed him around everywhere, holding his right hand.  Chloe sat down to cuddle him and Elise told Chloe to go sit on my lap and hopped on his lap.   For all of you parents that hate changing diapers, it turns out that you can...actually miss that.  Chris is 100% excused from diaper duty, but as soon as Elise had a poopy diaper, he insisted on changing it.  He said he might need some help (one handed diaper changing?  Scary stuff.) and Elise got mad that grandma was actually trying to help.    She wanted this to be between her daddy and her.  These are just some of the things that we miss when they are taken away from us.  Chris carefully made it upstairs to tuck in all of the kids last night, which was nice since that was one of Autumn's biggest fears.  (That daddy wouldn't be able to tuck her in at night)  

Chris is getting lots of practice with his speech and walking.  I have to kind of remind him to not walk too much as I see his leg start buckling under him.  I think we need to work out some sort of therapy schedule everyday to work on his arm since he isn't having daily therapy now.  They say that one of the biggest "no-no"s is to forget about the affected arm.  If you aren't trying to do stuff with it (even though it might be harder), your brain is less likely to find new ways to use it.  We'll work on that, but in the mean time, it is nice to have our family back together.  

The big day

Well, tomorrow is the big day.  We are so excited to get the family all together again.  It is definitely time, as Elise is officially breaking down. She spent a lot of today crying, which makes me SO sad.  Going from your mom being home too much to just about never is tough stuff.  Plus, she has always been a major daddy's girl.  I think it will be tough for her to not be held all of the time by Chris.  She definitely needs her parents at home again, just as much as Chris needs to be home with his girlies again.  

I have to say that I am a little nervous about him coming home, as much as I am very excited.  There is the diet that I need to worry about, the making sure he doesn't fall, helping him get better without him getting stressed, making sure Hannah doesn't knock him over....little things like that.  This is kind of the second phase to this whole stroke business so there will just be new things to get used to.

We got the bed ready today, a house cleaner came and cleaned up (thank you, Lia!) and my mom went and bought lots of yummy healthy food for us.  Do you know how much sodium is in prepared food? (Canned veggies, soups, etc)  You shouldn't have more than 3000 mg a day and a serving of soup is normally around 800 mg.  Wow.  Pickles?  Some have as much as 1900 mg. Crazy stuff. 

Rachel spent the afternoon with us at the hospital.  She got to see Chris do his Physical Therapy and then we spent some time playing "Be mean to Mom".  She figured that since dad is in the hospital, she should join forces with him and beat me at any game we play.  Luckily, I am not the competitive type.  I acted like I cared just to make it more fun for them.  It seemed to work.  Picking on me seemed to cheer Chris up quite a bit.  Shame on him. :)

We're so glad when Daddy comes home!

Today was full of preparation for Chris' homecoming this Friday.  Yes, you heard right!   This Friday!  Yeah!  He is so excited to be out of the hospital and back home with the kids.  

Lots of cool things that happened today.  

1. He was able to briefly control a muscle on his right forearm

2. He had a sensation in his ankle (once again, briefly, but we are thrilled nonetheless)

3. He got to play fetch with a service dog and take him on a walk (And swears he walks better with the dog.  Nice try, Chris.  No more dogs at the Kang house for a while.)

4. Chris had a visit with a man who had a stroke about 3 years ago.  We got to talk with him for a while and just see a live case study.  He has fully recovered and remembers being in Chris' shoes not too long ago.

5. I got to see Chris walk with and without his cane.  He actually gets a little bit of speed, but I am still worried that he will fall every time I see his leg start to buckle.  Please, no falling.

6. The Dr. told Chris that he should be able to drive an automatic in a month or two.  This is good news, but it doesn't get rid of that little problem of a stick that Chris bought a week before his stroke.

I think there were other things that went on, but I really can't remember at this point.  Brain dead.  Maybe tomorrow I will remember and update with any additional cool things that come to me.  Tomorrow a bunch of guys from our church are coming over to help get Chris' room ready downstairs.  Thank you, muscles.  I don't think I could carry all of that scrapbooking stuff upstairs.  Yes, Chris had the nerve to take over my scrapbooking room. :)  He says that this stroke was all part of his plan to make sure I didn't have a "crap" room. (His nickname for my craft room)  I guess I'll forgive him.  Just this time.   Only because I am so dang happy that he is alive.

Reflections on Faith

I am rushing off this morning to see Chris walk.  Because they are very careful with their patients and don't allow any "practicing" outside of PT, I haven't seen Chris walk in a few days.  He always does it in his early morning PT and I am normally there around 11.  Rumor has it that his speed has increased big time and that he can walk without his cane pretty well.  Can't wait to see it! I'll let you know how it goes today.

Reflections on Faith: I have always wondered if I am lacking faith.  I have a firm belief that God's will is not always my will, thus faith alone does not mean that all will go my way.  I hear these people that firmly believe that they can pray for any result and it will come and it has always made me feel like I lack faith.  It has always been this inner dilemma for me.  Part of me feels like I am right and then the other part has always wondered if I am just lacking in faith.  

On Sunday, they sang a song that put me at peace with my faith.  It is called "When Faith Endures" and I found it perfectly summing up how I have felt since Chris' stroke.  

I will not doubt, I will not fear;

God's love and strength are always near. 

His promised gift helps me to find 

An inner strength and peace of mind.

I give the Father willingly

My trust, my prayers, humility.

His spirit guides; his love assures

That fear departs when faith endures

So here I felt like I lacked faith because I don't necessarily believe that Chris will get back to 100% just because I want him to, but this song describes exactly how I have felt.  I feel this overwhelming peace of mind and know that whatever does come of this, we will be ok.   Faith is what has been my saving grace this past 2 weeks.