Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Reflections on Faith

I am rushing off this morning to see Chris walk.  Because they are very careful with their patients and don't allow any "practicing" outside of PT, I haven't seen Chris walk in a few days.  He always does it in his early morning PT and I am normally there around 11.  Rumor has it that his speed has increased big time and that he can walk without his cane pretty well.  Can't wait to see it! I'll let you know how it goes today.

Reflections on Faith: I have always wondered if I am lacking faith.  I have a firm belief that God's will is not always my will, thus faith alone does not mean that all will go my way.  I hear these people that firmly believe that they can pray for any result and it will come and it has always made me feel like I lack faith.  It has always been this inner dilemma for me.  Part of me feels like I am right and then the other part has always wondered if I am just lacking in faith.  

On Sunday, they sang a song that put me at peace with my faith.  It is called "When Faith Endures" and I found it perfectly summing up how I have felt since Chris' stroke.  
I will not doubt, I will not fear;
God's love and strength are always near. 
His promised gift helps me to find 
An inner strength and peace of mind.
I give the Father willingly
My trust, my prayers, humility.
His spirit guides; his love assures
That fear departs when faith endures

So here I felt like I lacked faith because I don't necessarily believe that Chris will get back to 100% just because I want him to, but this song describes exactly how I have felt.  I feel this overwhelming peace of mind and know that whatever does come of this, we will be ok.   Faith is what has been my saving grace this past 2 weeks.  


Jen said...

Sarah, I am the same as you. I struggle with wondering if I have enough faith at times. I also think that no matter how much faith I have, if it is not God's will then it is not going to happen. So I sometimes struggle with wondering if that is a lack of faith, or if I should just have faith that God will do what is right. I hope that makes sense.

I'm glad to hear Chris is walking, and that things are going well. I dreampt of you and Chris last night, so I had to come on here this morning and check and see how you guys were. I haven't been able to check up as much as I would like, since we've had our own craziness going on over here the last near 2 weeks.

Anonymous said...

Your awesome Sarah and not just because your my daughter!

Meg said...

AMEN. In all sincerity of the word.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your awesome blog! I didn't know Chris, but I'm a tour lead with him at Nike. Praise the Lord for this blog! So many (non-christians) are checking this out... what a wonderful way to tell a story of Christ's love to the outside world.

I'm with you on faith... it's hard to know. we live in an imperfect world and hard things like this happen. but, the Lord's with us and His power is made perfect in our weakness. keep blogging!

Islandalli said...

I love that you write with your heart. The phrase that comes to mind when I read this is "He is strong when we are weak." We only need to allow Him to help us, through peace or healing or whatever is best for us. We love you guys and add our prayers to yours.